The Smart Girl

Have you ever been labeled “the funny one”? How about “the pretty one” or “the athletic one?” As for me, I’ve always been “the smart one.”

I remember once in my Sophomore year we were assigned seats in my Spanish 3-4 class and as I sat down next to a Junior, he exclaimed “Finally! I get to sit next to a smart person!”  What I wondered was, What makes you think I’m smart? Its not like we had ever had an academic class together before. He was my section leader during that year’s Marching Band season when I decided I wanted to play the sousaphone; I sucked at it.  He played trombone in Jazz II and I played tenor saxophone; as such, he stood directly over my shoulder and had to know I didn’t understand music theory worth beans. So why did he think I was so smart?

Last week my coworker Lisa was relating what she called “a small incident with the cake” wherein she apparently ate 3 pieces even though she was not part of the training group for whom it was designated. Lisa is always confessing her food transgressions, but since she’s naturally slender and has clear skin in spite of the incredible amount of ice cream she eats, it comes across more as funny than sad.

During the course of her story, Lisa said “and then Red-Haired SLP (she has a name, I just don’t remember it, which makes it doubly embarrassing that she still remembers mine) came up to me and was like “Duffy is so smart!” and I (Lisa) was like I don’t care”

Of course I pretended to be hurt: You don’t care that I’m smart!?

Lisa replied, “I mean, I care. It’s just that I already know that.”  Never get between a woman and her cake!

I met red-haired SLP once. Over a year ago. Not even an exaggeration. I was filling in as the AAC Specialist in ECSE last summer and she was a new-hire.  We were both meeting a student for the first time. Here are the things I remember about red-haired SLP from that meeting:

1.       At least 4 inches taller than me

2.       Gorgeous hair that doesn’t appear to frizz (I have hair envy)

3.       Friendly

4.       I was impressed at how well she seemed to be acclimating and thought that in a similar situation, as a brand-new SLP on my first job with an oober-complicated kiddo I had no idea what to do with, I would have been a puddle of pleasehelpmeI’mlost

I did not judge her intelligence or lack thereof.  Our interaction consisted of 1 part walking around the building looking for the AAC kit that nobody knew existed, 2 parts me fumbling with switches and equipment that I couldn’t make work, and 1 part discussing various intervention approaches.  On the whole, if I were to judge as an outsider, I should have come off looking:

a)      Incompetent

b)      Unprepared

c)       Not smart

Instead, this is the second time that Lisa has told me red-haired SLP thinks I’m smart… (and here is the rest of the reason) because I use big words.

Which leads me to my soapbox.

Here is the abbreviated version:

1)      Is “smart” a euphemism for “fat”? Because I didn’t start wearing glasses until… well, okay, technically-maybe I should wear them for driving, but since I’ve never been asked to read the fine print on an eye chart while operating a motor vehicle… my point is: if you can judge “smart” by outward appearances, what does it look like?

2)      Big words are not fake words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (exclamation points directly proportional to depth of feeling on subject)

Explanation of #2:

At our annual mandatory in-service last week -the day before Lisa’s cake incident- we were introduced to a new staff evaluation tool, which is Senate-Bill-290-is-the-devil cloaked in isn’t-this-a-great-new-rubric.  One thing it does have going for it is that it was developed with Special Educators in mind, unlike the previous one we had been using where much of the content didn’t apply.   So each skill has 4 possible ratings with two sub-par and one distinguished.  The target rating for IEP meetings includes this gem “Uses real words. Speaks in short, simple sentences.”

And I just want to say, dearest reader, that if the word “jargon” is too jargon-y (gasp! Made-up word alert!) for us our students’ parents to grasp, then I am concerned for the future of our society and its insistence on a “small words only” education.

In closing, this note from my visiting teacher (emphasis in original) is in no way offensive and totally feeds my ego:

Didn't get the posts automatically, but I've read them all!  I love reading them.  They are all so different which is great.  You are way too smart!  The one about the discounting machine was almost over my head, but then you brought it back down to my level :)

Maybe its not so bad being “the smart one” after all.